People Who Should Not Run Linux
Let’s face it. Nothing is perfect and everybody is different. So it follows that no one operating system can be for everybody. With that in mind, I came up with this list of people who should not use Linux.
1) People with money to burn. There are people who buy a new car every year, have a chateau in the south of France and do not have to save to buy a house. That’s not me, but I hear that they exist. So if you are not money conscious, then you can afford to pay Microsoft or Apple for their latest creation. In fact, you can buy their super, deluxe edition with all of the bells and whistles and probably pay someone else to install it for you. For the rest of us, there is Linux, which is free as in beer and free as in speech, meaning that it costs you nothing and you can give away the disk after you have installed it.
2) People with time on their hands. If you are watching Seinfeld re-runs for the thirty thousandth time and have nothing better to do, then you can probably find the time to maintain your Windows computer. For people who shave or get dressed while they drive to work (not a good idea, I am told), there is Linux. It is low maintenance and it takes less time to install. You can install the operating system, plus drivers and codecs and all of the applications, in less time than it takes to install just Windows.
3) People who are not security conscious. If you do your banking over an insecure wireless connection or in Starbucks, then you probably do not worry about such trivialities as updating or even not running anti-virus, anti-malware and anti-trojan software. Some people make life simple. They run Linux which is more secure and they do not have to deplete system resources with running anti-anything. Also, they know that the bank or online retailer on the other end of the transaction is probably running Linux, too, and they like that.
4) People who like clutter. I know people like this. In fact, I live in close proximity to one, so I know that they exist. Such a person does not mind having their system tray choked with stay resident in memory applications or having every application that you install in making a shortcut to your desktop, plus in the quick launch toolbar, plus add its own group to your menu which grows incrementally large and which is always out of alphabetical order. No, they like having to search for things and then every once in awhile go on a house cleaning spree. People who like order choose Linux where applications do not make shortcuts to anywhere and where the icons are stored in predetermined groups and nothing runs from your system tray unless you want it to. (Now, that I sound totally anal, I confess that I am a messy person who lives a cluttered existence, except on my computer where sanity reigns supreme.)
5) People who like a slow pace. If it takes you ten minutes to climb the stairs, then watching Windows load would seem like but a flash. You would not mind the extra time that it takes for Windows to update your anti-virus, check for updates and run all of those programmes that run in the background, or even the time it takes to click through all of the nag screens to re-boot. You would use that time to walk to the kitchen and have breakfast. When you came back, Windows would hopefully be ready to work. However, if you like a faster pace, then you would choose Linux which boots faster, has no anti-virus updates and it never slows down with time.
6) People who do not care about the environment. So you’ve got more cars than people in your family and one of them is a Hummer. You’ve got a TV in every room and they run 24/7. You never turn off the lights when you leave a room or sort your trash, and speaking of trash, you throw out more than six of your neighbours combined. Linux is not for you. You probably do not care that Linux can be used to make old computers work faster and make them run longer. If I told you that some people run Linux on tiny machines that could not run Windows, you would not be impressed, so I won’t tell you.
7) People who have trouble making up their mind. When I went to east Germany, I saw a store that sold socks, just socks, blue or grey. You got in a line up, so you had time to decide between blue or grey. There were no different brands to choose and only one quality. It was perfect for someone who does not like choice. Windows is like that. So is Mac OS. You get what Microsoft or Apple decides is right for you, one size fits all. You do not have to think or choose, in fact they prefer that you not. But if you like having options and do not mind selecting from lots of choice, then Linux is for you. There are well over 300 distributions or flavours of Linux. The choice does not stop there. You can choose a different desktop environment and choose to run a different one each time you logon. Its kind of like a vacation on your computer. You get a change of scenery whenever you want it. Does this mean that Apple or Microsoft are like communist dictatorships? Hmmm?
8 ) People who do not like change. If you can wait for the next operating system from Apple or Microsoft to come out whenever they make up their minds or to release a fix for that vulnerability that you have heard about six weeks ago that allows people to steal your identity, then Linux is not for you. Sorry. Most Linux distributions come out with new releases at regular intervals and vulnerabilities are rare because Linux is a collaborative effort. Fixes are usually prompt, too, often the next day. But then, you probably like patch Tuesday and look forward to having to instlal 49 patches all at once. Linux is always being developed. A new kernel comes out every few months and distributions offer updates that you can install or not, as you choose.
9) People who like DRM. If you like digital rights management, then you probably do not mind the operating system checking up on you or being told by Apple or Microsoft what you can or cannot do with your computer and files stored there. In fact, you probably do not mind that Microsoft and Apple believe that they own the operating system that you just paid for and that they can decide if you are using it properly or not. If they don’t like what you are doing, then they have the right to lock you out of the operating system or install little bits to check up on you. Linux is open and free and when you install it then you can do anything and everything that you want and nobody checks up or even cares what you do.
10) People who like software shopping. If your idea of a good time is to hop in the car and drive to Staples and look for software or to surf the web and type credit card information into boxes, then Linux is not for you. Linux software is stored in repositories on the internet and it does not come in layers of cardboard and shrink wrapping. Sorry to disappoint you. Linux applications are maintained and checked for compatibility and stored in these secure locations are are accessed from a application on your computer. You select items from a menu and you don’t get to give out your credit card information ahead of time.
11) People who like planned obsolescence. If you think that it is a good idea that Microsoft and OEMs can work together and decide when it is time for you to get new equipment, instead of making old equipment work with a new operating system, then stick with Windows. If you think that it is a good idea that Apple alone makes and sells the hardware and software and that they can determine the level of support without your input, then Mac OS is for you. Linux developers have no cushy relationship with OEMs, so they must work hard to get your old equipment to work and if it does not work there is probably a good reason that goes beyond wanting to sell more.
12) People who have been living under a rock for the past decade. You probably believe the old stories that Linux is hard to use and for geeks only. You probably believe that you need Red Hat certification and a computing degree just to run it. That’s okay, you are not alone. Many people have not used Linux and they only know what they hear and since some companies don’t want you to hear the truth they spread fear, uncertainty and doubt about Linux. Linux users know that it is all a crock, but many of them do not want the truth to get out either. They like it so much that they want to keep it all to themselves.
Linux, it’s okay, but you probably won’t like it.
Please feel free to add to my list.